it only took a rumor. /rant/

I originally began writing this post in a half-rage, one which had not quite dissipated but remained in a quiet dormant state. It was a young volcano sitting at the surface of my psyche, waiting for the right trigger to cause an eruption of emotional (and some physical) damage, mostly to myself. But the more I wrote, the deeper I sank into a writer’s vicious cycle — how to make a universal topic be accessible and relate-able to others even though I was so entangled in it myself.

A card-carrying member of the ‘living on the fringe’ society, I’ve always been more hesitant with human interaction than most people are normally. I don’t trust anyone, and lucky for me, people tend to fall into a pattern of following exactly what I’ve become accustomed to expecting from them. When others choose to put their best fake face forward, it’s evident to me, but seems to charm everyone else in the vicinity. So when the whispering and hushed noises began around the office, I had an inkling that the situation was going to evolve into a more fiction-than-fact ordeal.

Alas, I had been singled out as a partier and my (infrequent) absences were claimed to be “post-drinking-hangover” recovering days.

…um, I’m sorry. WHAT.

What sort of idiot would come up with this moronic load of mis-information, and to make matters worse, who would believe it? It’s easier to malign the reputation of the quiet girl who minds her own business, than to (apparently) do your own work and mind your business. To add salt to the wounds, I had underestimated the way others would respond.

I was walking to my desk when a colleague :retch: approached me with no caution and blurted forth:

“So I heard your “migraine” made you miss work last week. /snicker/ Next time, try to not go partying on Sunday night or else you’ll have to bring a note that you had a “migraine.”"

NB: the speaker was using air quotes whenever he would say ‘migraine’ as though the concept was completely foreign and non-existent. Let’s also put into perspective that this particular idiot spends 90% of his workday walking around the office and socializing, so yeah, not really the person to give me a lecture.

It didn’t help when the information had been passed from the low-level minions of my office to the middle-management drones and up to the Executives. The decision-makers of the company/my bosses were now being bombarded with false information that was painting my moral character and work ethic in a very unfavorable light.

The fascination people have with screwing up others’ lives when they themselves are bored, or apparently don’t have any work to do, is astounding.

Here’s my proposal: WHO GIVES A SHIT. It’s none of your business if I was out frolickin’ with goats on the side of the road or gambling in Vegas with the money I made selling my kidney on the Black Market.

If I do my job and it’s not related to your duties or affecting you, why do you GIVE A FLYING RAT’S ASS. It’s especially problematic when you choose to distribute your opinions as to what I’m doing on my day off to, oh, I don’t know, people who make the hiring-and-firing decisions.

Don’t assume that you are aware of my off-work activities, nor should you get a play-by-play of what I do outside of work.

How about we stop sucking our thumbs, put away our blankies, and act like the grown-ass adults we are?

I’ve been told twice already by friends to ignore the rumor mill and the misinformation it produces, but it’s not the rumors themselves or the originators I’m most miffed by; its the fact that my professional career is bouncing around in the slots of a roulette machine, and no one seems to understand that the House is rigged, the Man will win, and I will be ultimately screwed.

I’ve more than familiar with the catch-phrase “high school never ends,” and while I’ve experienced the growing pains of high school in a post-college environment multiple times, it just sucks to know that the persona I’ve cultivated professionally can easily be slutted up by the likes of the bored and the idiotic. All of the innovative ideas, my hard work in doing my work, and the connections I’ve made in the business world are precariously hanging on the edge of this cliff, about to be pushed into a gaping hole of non-existence.

Let’s learn to be less juvenile, and choose to let rumors lie. Rumors, rumors, may be fun, but rumors, rumors, hurt everyone.

That means grow. the. fuck. up.

-Nita

[The DIY Files] loud and bright statement – part I

Like many of the 20-something creative women out there, I have a disease called ‘I Can Make That’-tis. Even though my skill sets may be nowhere in the same ballpark as what’s needed to make something I can more-easily buy… I would much rather make it. It REALLY becomes a problem when I see a high-end item, or a runway trend, and the wheels begin turning in my head. That’s where The DIY Files come to the rescue.

Hot Glue crisis… AVERTED!

One of the fan-TAS-tic aspects of creating jewelry — whether for m!spunktuation or for my own person collection — is the myriad of materials available to use in making such pieces. From utilizing safety pins comme earrings (I know, so sanitary), to modified belts as wrist cuffs, to even fragmented glass set in necklace form — there are almost no limitations on what can be turned into jewelry.

Lucite — or acrylic, in its less expensive/more popular form — has made quite a few appearances over the past three decades, most notably during the 80′s neon-everything craze. And while I was too young to remember (or participate) in any of brightly hued bangles and geometric-patterned accessorizing, I do remember craving to wear the pliable acrylic ‘jelly’ bracelets which surfaced in middle school. Of course, now the acrylics are back, and bigger than ever, crossing over in clear, colors with translucence, and even incorporating ombre shading into its pieces.

crystal crusted lucite Deco earrings

‘brittany’ lucite platform heel. [Jeffrey Campbell/NastyGal]

emerald starburst necklace with acrylic backing [Baublebar]

Things you will need:

• clear plastic cosmetics travel case (can be easily found at Wal-Mart or local dollar store).
• scissors
• pen or pencil
• a design idea or template (browse statement necklaces online for ideas)
• graph paper (such as the blank templates here)
• clear/colorless rhinestones in two-three different sizes
• nail polish (3 different colors maximum + clearcoat)
• head pin/toothpick for glue
• E-6000 clear glue
• (2-4) medium silver jump rings
• chain (with clasp) of your desired length

1. Arrange your rhinestones in the chosen pattern on the grid lined graphing paper. Once you’ve decided how you want the stones arranged for the necklace, assign the stones their respective colors.

2. Draw out the design so that you can have an idea of the final look once its completed.

a sketch is a sketch is a sketch.

2. On the grid paper itself, color in the boxes on the squares that would be covered with the rhinestones.

color, colour, and COLAAR!

3. Paint the rhinestones with the nail polish 1 to 2 coats. I used a mix of clear and black stones, so my color palette included a sunny sherbert yellow and a deep jewel-tone teal.

4. While the nail polish dries, take the clear cosmetic bag and cut out one side of the bag. This will serve as your base, or the “lucite” backing of the necklace. Cut off the stitched sides and any excess plastic.

5. Place a small quantity of the E-6000 glue on a disposable card. Place the plastic side on the graphing paper over the colored in squares. This way, when you’re gluing the rhinestones to the plastic, it’ll be more accurate in terms of keeping lines straight and the image symmetrical.

6. Now that you have the colored rhinestones attached to the base, you can now cut out your pendant design from the acrylic according to the pattern you’ve already sketched. Make sure there’s about 1/8 of an inch border around the edges of the pendant so there’s sufficient room to attach the necklace.

7. Using a needle or sharp fine pointed pin, pierce the top of the pendant approx. 1/8 of an inch from the top edge of the piece. This is where you will insert the jump rings to attach to the necklace chain.

black chain brings a stark and deep contrast to the bright stones.

8. SLOWLY — because this plastic is thin and will tear if you rush it — push the jump ring through the puncture, then push the ends together while leaving a small enough opening for the chain link. Place one on each end of the pendant in order to balance the weight of the pendant.

9. Attach both chains to the pendant, and use two more jump rings as needed for any additional pieces you may have cut for the pendant. Hilariously, mine ended up being two pieces, after I came to the decision that having it attached with jump rings would help weigh the pendant.

details: overlap of acrylic for 2nd set of jump rings. uh, ch-yea.

10. ..wait, what?! You’re DONE, may-ne. Now wear it OUT.

ta-da! its done and FAB-u-lous.

NB: If you live in a particularly humid/balmy/erratic-weather area, a piece like this delivers a punch of color and BAM! without sticking to your skin with the heaviness of a thick lucite or metal. Layered with some thinner necklaces of 2 or 3 different lengths will frame this piece and elevate it to more-than-a-DIY.

If you thought I was done with like-lucite DIY… you would be incorrect, yo.

Another project coming forth from The DIY Files. [dun-dun-dah!]

-Nita

m! release: ‘body/blood’ collection

…just a few snapshots of the pieces before I load them into Etsy. All hand-sculpted, NOT CAST, so yeah, there are imperfections and no two pieces look alike. But that is what truly makes them “one of a kind.”

‘pathways’

‘extracted.’

‘rotten.’

‘chew squared.’

”plump hemo’ pairing.

‘plump hemo’

Initially, the spark of inspiration for these pieces came from the hours spent studying for Anatomy/Physiology this semester to prepare for my grad school applications (haha), but honestly, I’ve had the first ‘tooth’ sitting in the ‘Orphaned Pieces’ box for about a year now. My intent in releasing this first batch of pieces — which are not completely done, YET — at Spring/Summer time is to draw from the fundamental aspects of the human physiology. Basic building blocks, such as blood cells, osteocytes, the blood vessels, and of course, the teeth — are all components which are nearly identical for each of us save for minute differences. Unlike our personas, our eye color, nose shape, allergies, these simple pieces of ourselves are both identifiable for us as a species and as individuals.

But why would anyone want to wear a bloody tooth, snarled veins, or round red blood cells? For reasons no different than hipsters and bobble-headed teenagers shrieking upon seeing a mainstreamed gold skull, and screeching ‘OMG. THIS. IS. SOOOO COOL!” Yes, its cool. But all the same, it should receive respect no different than a  sculpture. Granted, the pieces are all made from polymer clay, hand sculpted without any molds or reference castings, baked then sanded down to minimize surface imperfections, then painstakingly hand-painted and assembled.

The work put in being irrelevant, there really isn’t someone willing to go so far and be as raw as these pieces are. They attract attention, whether you want it or not. They invite questions and odd looks and lingering stares.

But these pieces aren’t made for the faint of heart. They’re made for the individual who will not only let these pieces speak for who she is, but also that she doesn’t give two shits.

Kickin’ ass and taking names.

-Nita

Hold the phone. Is it me you’re looking for?

So it’s been about 3 months since I last came around. Actually, it’s been less than that… but whatever I managed to produce blog-wise remains in the limbo known as ‘draft’ status, whereas the last published post hasn’t seen the light of day since January.

Ugh. :holding head in hands:

How did this happen?! I had strictly told myself to devote 3-4 entries to this space of clarity, even going so far as to write the damn resolution down and displaying it right at eye level by my laptop. In theory, it should have worked. However, it appears I can’t guilt myself into doing this. My penchant for chaos over discipline didn’t just seep in, it fucking flooded the place. Maybe I should have told my mom to hold me to it. That would’ve worked like a 13^th century charm, guilt trips and all.

Let’s be honest, though – I became lazy. It was just too much effort to write something I thought was worthy of being read by someone/anyone/no one. It was easier to just write, endlessly and without editing because WHO was going to read it besides myself? There was no one to complain I was rambling, or that I need more pictures, or even to tell me to STOP at 1000 words ‘cause who would read that far?!

At one point I considered shutting down this blog. If I wasn’t going to write for anyone but myself, then why did it matter if the content was published or written on a simple Word document?

And yet, I’m back. Part of the reason to keep ‘Quasi on Stilts’ alive rather than in a comatose state is that I NEED these restrictions. Ones which require more visuals as part of my posts, where I should be capable of writing 1000 fully fleshed words rather than a large jumble of ideas and letters. I NEED the public push, so to speak, to force myself to maintain a clear head and (re)start on improving my writing skills. I always seem to function better this way, though. Having my plate so full that I’m juggling things which, frankly, should be on solid ground or otherwise might crash into a billion pieces, is the only way I know how to handle things.

Working in the Operations aspect of a business has also let me explore an avenue that I didn’t think was available to me… one that I will be attempting to break my way into. I’ve always thought about going into a science-adjacent profession, something where I’d be left to work in a cold sterile lab for hours at a time, discovering ‘The Next Big Thing’ all while enjoying my own isolation. But, as I’ve come to painfully realize, carving out a single path for my future is completely contrary to who I am. Hopefully, QOS will enable me to gain control of the many reins I’m struggling with, and limit my occupation-hyphenation to more attainable levels.

The other part – quite a bit larger in terms of importance, as well – is that I feel the only way to move away and out of my stagnant career is to reinvest myself creatively through this platform. I’ve been frustrated with my shop, both in terms of creation and marketing. I want to, instead, utilize QOS as my channel of brainstorming, discovering and uncovering new designers, analyzing trends, and put my unfinished DIY projects on a platform that forces me to JUST FINISH ALREADY. What’s the point of having a notebook full of projects if every one that’s started ends up stashed in the back of the closet, waiting for imminent disposal?

So. Here goes. Enjoy the spiral down…

a question of rage + resolution.

I keep reading about how less than 10% of people manage to keep their resolutions within the first month of the new year. Things to do to improve your chances of ‘making it’? Visualize it. Write it down. Divide up your resolutions into more manageable goals. Make it about quantity rather than vague concepts. Yada-yada-yada. And only 12 days into January I’ve managed to somewhat stray from what I had resolved to accomplish this year.

:facepalm:

Hell, I’m even trying the write-it-down/visualize-it method. One of my ‘resolves’ for this year is to maintain some sanity at work, which means not becoming so angry or taking things at work so personally that it would affect my mental and physical well-being. My lovely/frightened friends have dubbed this the “Goodbye” Method.

“look at me, I just went back in time to 1999.”

*If you’re old enough to remember AOL/America Online, there’s a male voice that greets you with a “HELLO” and a “GOODBYE” when you sign off. Yes, I am referring to THAT “GOODBYE.”*

I typed up my mantra for dealing with the idiocy at work and included a speech bubble clearly stating “GOODBYE” boldly. I placed it in my line of sight, so that all I would need to do while on the phone or writing an email is look up, breathe, repeat mantra to myself in a calm inner-voice, and thus control my anger.

Dimitri says “hellogoodbye.”

Yeah, it’s not really doing the job. Sure, it’s been up for over a week and a habit takes 30 days to form or break, so I need to give it time, right? The problem is, the more I deal with such asinine situations, the less patience I have. So I angrily look at that piece of paper, shooting daggers from my eyes, and through clenched teeth whisper under my breath, “I will not get angry, I will not get angry… GODDAMMIT.”

For some reason, even though it should be easier to visualize the reality of this particular resolution since it is now in writing, my belief in the truth behind this mantra is even moreso questioned. Why should these words on a piece of paper make staying calm easier? How can they solidify my faith in myself or prevent my rage from bubbling over?

My co-workers joke (sorta) about the Seinfeld episode where George Costanza goes on a rampage after attempting a zen-like state by repeating “Serenity Now.” Except they find it hilarious that one day I will snap and go around  stabbing people while quietly whispering to myself “GOODBYE.” That’s actually kinda fitting, no?

It’s much easier to commit to a resolution where you’re in control of all of the factors involved — if you’re trying to learn a new skill, you make the time, buy the supplies, commit to knitting that scarf because you CAN and you WILL. When it’s something more abstract and impossible to hold in your hands, such as one’s sanity, the lack of a physical presence seems to drop the item lower on your list of resolutions.

My problem doesn’t like in how everyone else behaves at work (ok, it’s a derivative), but since in this situation I can only control my own responses and reactions, why not distance myself mentally when dealing with unprofessional situations? If they can’t behave professionally, why should I have to reduce my own level of maturity and stoop down to theirs?

Tomorrow is another day, another chance to try again. Maybe this time, my resolve will show less cracking in the visage.

starting afresh, clearing the clutter in your mindspace.

Even though yesterday was the actual final day of 2012, I started mentally listing my resolutions goals a few weeks ago. The new year, whichever it may be, shouldn’t be the sole reason for hitting “reset” on our lives, nor should it become obligatory to start anew. It’s human nature to be inquisitive of our own mortality, thereby quantifying it via age, life expectancy, and fooling ourselves into thinking that THIS YEAR will be THE YEAR. the next 365 days will be the chance to do everything we want to do, execute aspects of our lives which have been on hold or slowly bubbling into a finality, or to fill some void in ourselves which appears regularly to remind us that we are anything but perfect. So aim for perfection and completion we must, resolving to do so every cycle as we count down into our second/third/infinite chance.

2012, like every year, has had it’s moments. Both good and bad. There were more dark times this year for me than there have been in the past, but I’ve had some exceptionally supportive people who have not only snapped me out of it, but have been the confidence I’ve lacked for the past quarter-century. It’s far too messy to delve into now, perhaps in another rambling post, but the fact of the matter is that I’ve managed to remember and recount that SOME GREAT SHIT did go down. My problem, as always, is setting goals and then…kinda… sorta… executing them. Its like building a bridge, but only getting halfway across before another project catches my eye.

For instance, I officially started my Etsy store, down to logo design, business cards, packaging, and making the actual pieces of jewelry themselves. I fooled myself into thinking that I would be able to whip up new collections and be inspired continuously during the year. My problem was multi-faceted: I would design and draw and sketch. And then nothing would come of it, meaning the pieces would remain just lines on paper. OR, in an expected turn of events, I would grab my materials at 2am, some pliers, and BAM! A new necklace. And this would continue for a few days and weeks until I burned out. Granted, it had been some time since I’d made jewelry on a regular basis, but the initial burn-out resulted in my ultimately putting the shop low on my list of priorities.

It was no different with the artwork I had started on — I have 2 pieces sketched out on the freakin’ CANVAS. All I have to do is pick up a brush and start painting. [Really, Nita, it's not that difficult.] But once again, I managed to neglect my creative spirit.

Which brings me to the question of my sanity.

I have rage. Alot of it. Some days it manages to somehow remain unaffected by external forces and lies dormant far beneath the surface. Other days, the disappointment and frustration brought on by other uncontrollable forces *cough*work*cough*people*cough tends to create a force of fury from inside my self that is unrecognizable. See, I have always had rage, but my non-school and non-work outlets allowed me to channel that anger and ultimate depression into something productive.

Yes, doing Speech and Debate kept me sane. Who knew?!

When I had the few chances to perform again this past year (coupled with the fact that I missed being on stage), I was centered again mentally and emotionally. Albeit for a small amount of time. But moving one step forward is still progress, right?

I also came to the realization that people spew a LOT of bullshit. WAIT. Let me clarify. I have always known people say things just to talk, to hear the hollow sound of their voices and their meaningless words. Duh. What I am referring to is that the ‘high school’ mentality which I was hoping to escape from I found clear as day in the adults I was surrounded by. People who would utilize our commonalities to bring some sort of attention to themselves, pushing me further into the background. People who [SURPRISE SURPRISE] used me to fulfill their purpose and then disposed of me and my talents.

I have to learn how to navigate that storm because adults don’t grow up. They’re just 16 year-old versions of themselves in their parents’ clothes, but the vindictiveness and brutality of their behavior still exists.

My plans (not ‘resolutions’) for this year include keeping to myself. Being a loner in high school worked out for me the first time, whose to say it won’t work again now? I won’t be eating lunch by myself in the library; more along the lines of preventing myself from being sucked into the drama created by others. Not only do I have to physically stay away from those folks, I need to learn to ignore them altogether.

As a friend tells me: WHOOOO SAAAA.

My other plans include creating again — whether its artwork, more jewelry for m!spunktuation, or an avenue of performing, I need to create. Without channeling my frustrations into productivity, I find myself suffocating and spewing hateful things because I cannot deal with the ineptitude of others. So yes, that means:

-sketching something, ANYTHING, every day. I’ve been following some INCREDIBLE artists on Instagram, and I’ve learned that regardless of how awful/okay/great I might be, I will lose all of it if I don’t keep doodling.

-performing. Whether it be on stage at the Alley (6 months until Open Call!) or in a commercial or even, FUCK IT, on YouTube. I want to tell stories and be characters who need to get their voices heard.

-write. The primary purpose of this blog was to write whenever. While I have neglected this poor thing as well, I will make the effort to write 4 times/week on here. But it won’t be fluff (at least, not all of it ha!). I have numerous articles planned, some DIY, some political, some poetic, some ‘thoughts on’ different subject matter. “Quasi on Stilts” was supposed to be a collection of my observations and reactions — it’s about damn time I use it as such. And yes, there will be cupcake adventures as well.

Besides the creative, I have a rather important self-assigned deadline: my career. my future. So that shit needs to get together, not just this year. I have goals set for each month, goals that are attainable if I just try. and stop being afraid of failing.

Cheers to everyone on this chance for change, progress, self-awareness, and hopefully, happiness.

[Well, we'll see on that last one.]

-Nita

in cold blood cupcakes [attempt 1, harhar.]

Earlier this year, my younger sister came upon an image of these cupcakes made especially for the premiere of the final season of Dexter. She immediately put her request on Facebook (of course) and wouldn’t shut up about it. So I promised the cupcakes would be baked for her birthday, and they were! Of course, the sugar “glass” toppers I needed to make I did not have previous experience with, so THAT is why this has been labeled ‘attempt 1.’

the original cupcakes, courtesy of Magnolia bakery, NYC

People fake a lot of human interactions, but I feel like I fake them all, and I fake them very well. That’s my burden, I guess.

-Dexter Morgan

I think Michael C. Hall’s character is identifiable moreso than with other fictional killers because of his almost complete separation of himself from his true reality vs the perceptive reality he carries out with the world. It’s easy to slip into his shoes as a person living a double-life because many of us do so already, but to maintain such a distinction between what is expected of yourself versus your most innate urges… but I’m STILL behind and only on Season 2, so I’m sure there’s much growth and depth I’ve missed out on. On to the cupcakes…!

They may appear to be difficult, but honestly, the only complications arise with the sugar “glass” shards. And if you’re a chicken like me :bwark bwark!: you’ll overcook the sugar somehow and come out with “glass” that looks more like pure white meth. NOJOKE.

[Maybe I'll make them in blue for a Breaking Bad watch party. Or just 'cause.]

The cake is a simple Devil’s Food Chocolate cake — any chocolate flavored cake will do. OR… GENIUS! You can combine a white cake with a ‘skin’ food coloring…to make it look as though the skin of the cupcake has been pierced… yes?!

stuffed and ready to be covered in white icing

all gathered, ready for the slaughter…

lonely, I am so lonely.

reflecting upon the self. oh yeah, it’s a cupcake.

dunzo.

I feel as though these need “Psycho” music in the background.

For the filling:

- 0.5 can of cherry pie filling (perfect for the tangy tartness needed when biting into this sugary treat).

- 0.5 cup of fresh or frozen strawberries. If using frozen strawberries, make sure any excess liquid has been drained before pulsing into a liquid.

Mix the cherry and strawberry components and set aside until cupcakes have cooled. Once they’re ready, scoop out the middle with a small spoon or melon baller, then fill with the bloody filling.

[I have read other strawberry fillings using the processed glaze you can find in the grocery store. That stuff is TOOFRIGGIN' sweet, even for me.]

The frosting is a simple white icing, and if you’re pressed for time, it’s no biggie if you end up grabbing a can of ready-made frosting from the baking aisle.

:looks down at feet.:

Moving on! The sugar “glass” recipe is one I found on Martha Stewart’s website; as it turns out, even the Queen of DIY wanted to make these cupcakes.

Sugar “glass” recipe a.k.a “Martha’s Caramel”

- 1.5 cups granulated sugar

- .75 cups water

Mix the sugar and water in a deep saucepan and mix while boiling until the sugar has dissolved. Then let it cook until the mixture has a slight golden tint to it. Go any further with the heat and you will have some legit caramel, so take it off the stove. Have a cookie sheet ready and pour the sugar mixture onto the sheet. It should be shallow so the “glass” can be thinner, and therefore, more transparent.

It will take only about 30 minutes to harden, no refrigeration necessary, so once done, you can lay a towel over the “glass” and whack away to create the pieces of shards.

I added the “glass” shards to the cupcake via insertion and laughing evilly (not really ok maybe), then spooned some “bloody” filling over the sugar pieces to appear as though the cupcake has been cut! Ohnoes..! The filling being more liquid-than-solid also helps in selling the whole dripping-effect. SO something went right.

my little pretties. careful not to cut your mouth, or worse, fall into a sugar coma.

If you decide to make these (before I get a second chance, that is), please DO let me know how yours turn out?!

-Nita

…1, 2. Freddy’s Coming For You. [diy mani]

My nail designs, er, manis, are not all flash and sparkle. The problem with working in an office environment are the limitations placed on your appearance and attire. These manicure designs are meant to be both corporate-appropriate AND something to talk about. Enjoy!

Now that we’re into the second week of the month, how apropos to have a manicure with a bit more complicated nail art celebrating not *just* Halloween, but one of the most beloved characters of the holiday who just, well, happens to embody all of the horror, gore, and unnerving dread that the holiday brings out:

“saaaaay ‘MURDER!’”

I may be in the minority when I say that Jackie Earle Haley’s version of the classic character was actually superior to Robert Englund’s original. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that he had more material and character write up, AND it wasn’t supposed to be in the same vein as the 80′s B-movie Englund starred in. He added the necessary depth to the villain needed to not only make him identifiable with audiences, but brought a sense of reality to Freddy which would garner both sympathy and fear.

“… Three, four, better lock your door.
… Five, six, grab your crucifix.
… Seven, eight, gonna stay up late.
… Nine, ten, never sleep again.”

Okay, enough of the character dissection. Let’s put it this way, Freddy ranks in the top 5 of my fictional (or not so fictional) villains. Partially due to the fact that my first horror movie was Nightmare on Elm Street, but also because there’s a darkness to the villain that can’t be captured with simple murder and mayhem.

ON TO THE NAIL ART!

I’ll be recreating Freddy’s iconic burned skin for one hand + wielding his signature ‘nails’ [haha] on the other. This might be particularly tricky to do if you have short nails and/or crappy overly used-under appreciated paintbrushes [guilty as charged on both counts].

For the ‘burned skin’ nails, you will need the following:

• a pinky translucent nail polish (used Zoya’s Avril here)
• a beige nude (my tried-n-true Essie’s Mamba here)
• a dark red/burgundy/OXBLOODMWAHAHA (ahem, like Sally Hansen’s Flirt here)
• an opaque white polish (used Pure ICE Super Star! here)
• a base coat
• my trusty TOP COAT (Essie’s No Chips Ahead here)
• 3 small paintbrushes/nail art brushes (2 with pointed tips, 1 small flat-ended brush)
• a plastic zip-loc bag or plastic disposable surface.

1. Prime up your nail beds with a base coat. It does a nail goooood!

2. Apply a single coat of the translucent pink on each nail. Allow this coat to  dry completely. NO RUSHING IT.

3. Using the brush from the beige nude nail polish, grab large drops of the polish and place on the plastic surface. Taking one of the pointed-tip brushes, take single drops on the brush and dragging them in random lines across the nail bed. You want the lines to be thick enough to be visible while still allowing the pink backdrop to show through. Allow to dry completely.

4. Place a few large drops of the “Flirt” burgundy color onto a clean area of the plastic, take the second pointed-tip brush and fill in with small strokes the pale pink areas. Try to to keep the areas to be from being completely colored in or opaque. Think LAYERS of color. Allow to dry [again. Patience is a virtue!].

5. This time, take a few small drops of the white opaque polish and place it onto another clean area of the plastic. Now, with the flat-ended brush, dab a bit of the polish into “highlight” areas of the burned skin to add depth. Allow to dry for a minimum of an hour. You have multiple layers of polish… that will require a lonnnng time to dry.

6.  Time for the top coat!

This isn’t supposed to be perfect, nor are the nails meant to be identical in patterns of skin to each other.

Now onto part deux!

For the Freddy Knives, you’ll need the following:

• your base coat, buddy.
• a dark red/burgundy (like Sally Hansen’s Flirt above)
• a shiny silver polish (Pure Ice Silver Mercedes)
• the opaque white from before (Pure Ice Super Star!)
• oh duh, a top coat
• a point-tipped paintbrush
• masking tape/painter’s tape (Scotch brand Blue Painter’s tape used here)
• scissors

As with any nail art utilizing masking tape as a stencil, I always prepare the stencils first before starting with the polish. For this, I had 5 pieces of tape approximately 3 inches long (enough to wrap around the finger) cut. Take the scissors and cut 2 sides of the knife blade out of the tape, with one straight edge and one slightly-curved edge.

1. Prepping time with the base coat first….

2. Paint one coat of the burgundy color on each nail, and allow for it to completely and TOTALLY DRY. No rushing here.

3. Take each piece of tape and press down onto the back of your hand or onto your palm. Take the tape off, and press on again as needed if the adhesive is still too tacky. Please each piece of tape on a single nail bed, diagonally in order to appear as though they’re reaching out from the side of your nail bed.

4. Taking the silver polish, quickly swipe the silver polish across the knife shape, making sure there is no excessive polish on any nail bed. Count to 30, then remove each piece of tape from its respective nail.

5. Allow all of your nails to completely dry.

6. Using a clean point-tip brush, dip into the white opaque nail polish, and slowly swipe a miniscule amount of the polish along the curved edge and tip of the ‘knife’ blade. Again, use the white as the highlight on the blade. This way, the silver recedes and the white appears to come forward.

7. After the nails have dried, finish with a top coat. Fini!

More scary, frightening, GRUESOME manicures to come…. [cue cheesy horror movie music].

– Nita

spilling the oxblood nails [diy mani]

My nail designs, er, manis, are not all flash and sparkle. The problem with working in an office environment are the limitations placed on your appearance and attire. These manicure designs are meant to be both corporate-appropriate AND something to talk about. Enjoy!

Of the entire 12 months in the year, my favorite is October.

A. Houston FINALLY starts cooling the ‘eff down. Seriously, 6 months of 100 degree days straight should result in some kind of reward, right? Oh what I would give (my left arm, a piece of my soul, whatever it took) for some crisp Autumn days of 60 degree weather. Yeah, that’s ‘cool’ weather for us Southerners. Ha.

B. Dark colors! I can wear black ALL I WANT without having to suffer in the sweltering ridiculousness of the Houston heat and humidity.

C. Halloween. All Hallows Eve. Call it what you will, but for one night (and most of the month too) I get to indulge in all things horrific, terrifying, bloody, and demented. Not that I don’t do so on a normal basis… just that I can be EXCITED about Halloween without anyone giving me weird looks. Haha?

So the best way to combine a bit of Halloween spirit with the fall forecast oxblood trend = spilling some [ox]blood on bare skin, er, nails.

Oxblood appears as a combination of a dark, deep merlot + a slight plum base. I also just HAPPENED to have the color!

*If you don’t have a color similar to it, you can make it with the combination of a dark red + deep purple + drop of black*

whoops, I’ve made a mess with all this killing.

The best part here is that I balance the oxblood with a neutral that is near my skin color (not exactly identical) to give the illusion that the ‘blood’ is dripping down my nail bed, an effect of my nails being ripped off. Hehe. You know how nude heels give the illusion of longer legs? Nude nails coupled with a darker color don’t do any of that.

• base coat
• nude polish (used Essie’s Mamba here because it fits my near-pale taupe complexion)
• an ‘oxblood’ or deep, dark dark burgundy color (used Pure ICE Scandal here)
• a top coat (my trusty sidekick Essie’s No Chips Ahead used here)

The twist is in the technique used here: the darker color is put on AFTER the nude dries COMPLETELY, and it is DRAGGED down the nail. Not simply brushed on.

1. Paint on the base coat and let dry for 5 minutes.

2. Paint on the nude color, only 1 coat. You want this to be a ‘foundation’ layer for the blood that will be spilled. Allow to dry for 30 minutes. You don’t want any movement of the polish at all.

You will need to do the next part 1 nail at a time to get the intended effect:

3. Taking the brush of Scandal, wipe off the excess from ONE side onto the edge of the bottle. There should be a large bulb of polish on the other side.

4. Place the bulb of polish onto the edge of your nail nearest the cuticle/moon shape at the base of the nail.

5. Quickly push the color along the majority of the nail bed to cover about 3/4 of the nail bed. Leave as much of the tip of the nail clear of color as possible.

6. Wipe off any excess polish on the edge of the nail bottle AGAIN. Your brush should be nearly damp and stiff. The less polish remaining on the brush, the better this works.

7. Taking the polish brush, grab color from the edge of polish (there will be a bead of polish sitting on the surface) and drag the brush to the tip and over. You should get streaking lines over the nude color base.

8. Repeat above steps 3-7 on the other remaining nails.

9. Wait for the oxblood color to dry for about an hour before putting on a top coat. Remember, you want the color to cover a majority of the nail and streak on the last quarter near the tip. If the polish isn’t completely dry, the top coat WILL ruin this effect.

10. Clean up the edges of your nails and cuticles.

Another variation of this — once the drag technique has been practiced — would be to cover 1/4 of the nail and drag the color onto the rest of the nail bed.

these nails are a bloody mess. meh.

Note, the above photos were taken indoors until yellow/white florescent light. I keep forgetting to take photos in the SUNLIGHT.

I’m really diggin’ this color — a bit of drama and stepping into the dark side never hurt, right? Maybe oxblood will make a return trip here.

–Nita

chaale chalo chai cupcakes

Perhaps one of the trickiest flavor profiles to get absolutely accurate is that of the sweet-savory-subtle flavor of ‘chai.’ Originating from India, ‘chai’ or tea, is a part of every individual’s daily intake — whether adult or child. Restaurants in India offer it as the very first item to a customer, and when invited to another’s home for a visit, you can expect to be offered (if not forced) to drink a steaming cup of this beverage. Hell, the scent of ‘chai’ in all of its cardomom-cinnamon-clovey goodness can be detected from miles away, lending your salivary glands to burst forth in production.

‘Chai’ is Hindi for tea — so if you’re saying ‘OMG I LOVE CHAI TEA EEEEK!’ — its redundant. Also, please stop talking like this. For the sake of the sane ones.

I had made these cupcakes a few months ago when I was actually tired — :gasp: — of making chocolate cupcakes. I know, I know, WHO could possibly be tired of chocolate?! Well, I was. So there.

These aren’t the traditional vanilla chai latte cupcakes that you can find elsewhere. These are more akin to the naturally brewed tea by my mother every morning before school, the aroma lifting my raggedy self out of bed and to the kitchen. It’s deeply rust-hued liquid was gently lightened by the splashes of milk to a golden chestnut…. :slobber slobber:

Part 1 — the cake:

• 2 cups white sugar
  
• 1 cup butter
  
• 4 eggs
• 1.5 tablespoon vanilla extract
• 3 cups all-purpose flour
• 1.5 tablespoons baking powder
• 1 cup brewed tea
• 0.25 cup chai spice mix (see below)

  For the tea, using 3 packets of  Stash or any other brand of chai spiced tea. Read the ingredients to make sure they include black tea + ginger root + cinnamon + nutmeg + cardamom. Brew the tea packets for 10-15 minutes in boiling water, then allow to cool down. Otherwise, when you add them to the batter, the hot water will curdle the eggs.

Part 2 — chai spice mix:

• 1.5 tablespoon ground cardamom
• 2 tablespoons ground cinnamon
• 0.5 tablespoon ground ginger
• 0.5 tablespoon allspice
• 0.5 tablespoon ground nutmeg

Add in the chai spice to the batter once all of the other ingredients have been combined.

Scoop out batter into cupcake liners and bake for 20 minutes, checking at 2-3 minute intervals after the first 15 minutes have elapsed. Stick a fork in them to make sure they’re done [haha].

Part 3 — frosting:

• 3 cups confectioners’ sugar
• 1 cup butter
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 0.25 cup brewed chai/tea

Add together the ingredients for the frosting + mix in the brewed tea. I also added four drops of blue food dye since these cupcake were for an event fundraiser (thus the blue above).

zee finished cupcake + golden dust + spice mix. commence drooling.

I’m not sure if it’s the fact that they had blue frosting or that I had them displayed as “chai cupcakes” that people were hesitant to try them. You’ll buy a freakin’ iced chai latte from S-bux for $8, but not willing to try something new…

:sigh:

-quasi