So it’s been about 3 months since I last came around. Actually, it’s been less than that… but whatever I managed to produce blog-wise remains in the limbo known as ‘draft’ status, whereas the last published post hasn’t seen the light of day since January.
Ugh. :holding head in hands:
How did this happen?! I had strictly told myself to devote 3-4 entries to this space of clarity, even going so far as to write the damn resolution down and displaying it right at eye level by my laptop. In theory, it should have worked. However, it appears I can’t guilt myself into doing this. My penchant for chaos over discipline didn’t just seep in, it fucking flooded the place. Maybe I should have told my mom to hold me to it. That would’ve worked like a 13th century charm, guilt trips and all.
Let’s be honest, though – I became lazy. It was just too much effort to write something I thought was worthy of being read by someone/anyone/no one. It was easier to just write, endlessly and without editing because WHO was going to read it besides myself? There was no one to complain I was rambling, or that I need more pictures, or even to tell me to STOP at 1000 words ‘cause who would read that far?!
At one point I considered shutting down this blog. If I wasn’t going to write for anyone but myself, then why did it matter if the content was published or written on a simple Word document?
And yet, I’m back. Part of the reason to keep ‘Quasi on Stilts’ alive rather than in a comatose state is that I NEED these restrictions. Ones which require more visuals as part of my posts, where I should be capable of writing 1000 fully fleshed words rather than a large jumble of ideas and letters. I NEED the public push, so to speak, to force myself to maintain a clear head and (re)start on improving my writing skills. I always seem to function better this way, though. Having my plate so full that I’m juggling things which, frankly, should be on solid ground or otherwise might crash into a billion pieces, is the only way I know how to handle things.
Working in the Operations aspect of a business has also let me explore an avenue that I didn’t think was available to me… one that I will be attempting to break my way into. I’ve always thought about going into a science-adjacent profession, something where I’d be left to work in a cold sterile lab for hours at a time, discovering ‘The Next Big Thing’ all while enjoying my own isolation. But, as I’ve come to painfully realize, carving out a single path for my future is completely contrary to who I am. Hopefully, QOS will enable me to gain control of the many reins I’m struggling with, and limit my occupation-hyphenation to more attainable levels.
The other part – quite a bit larger in terms of importance, as well – is that I feel the only way to move away and out of my stagnant career is to reinvest myself creatively through this platform. I’ve been frustrated with my shop, both in terms of creation and marketing. I want to, instead, utilize QOS as my channel of brainstorming, discovering and uncovering new designers, analyzing trends, and put my unfinished DIY projects on a platform that forces me to JUST FINISH ALREADY. What’s the point of having a notebook full of projects if every one that’s started ends up stashed in the back of the closet, waiting for imminent disposal?
So. Here goes. Enjoy the spiral down…