it only took a rumor. /rant/

I originally began writing this post in a half-rage, one which had not quite dissipated but remained in a quiet dormant state. It was a young volcano sitting at the surface of my psyche, waiting for the right trigger to cause an eruption of emotional (and some physical) damage, mostly to myself. But the more I wrote, the deeper I sank into a writer’s vicious cycle — how to make a universal topic be accessible and relate-able to others even though I was so entangled in it myself.

A card-carrying member of the ‘living on the fringe’ society, I’ve always been more hesitant with human interaction than most people are normally. I don’t trust anyone, and lucky for me, people tend to fall into a pattern of following exactly what I’ve become accustomed to expecting from them. When others choose to put their best fake face forward, it’s evident to me, but seems to charm everyone else in the vicinity. So when the whispering and hushed noises began around the office, I had an inkling that the situation was going to evolve into a more fiction-than-fact ordeal.

Alas, I had been singled out as a partier and my (infrequent) absences were claimed to be “post-drinking-hangover” recovering days.

…um, I’m sorry. WHAT.

What sort of idiot would come up with this moronic load of mis-information, and to make matters worse, who would believe it? It’s easier to malign the reputation of the quiet girl who minds her own business, than to (apparently) do your own work and mind your business. To add salt to the wounds, I had underestimated the way others would respond.

I was walking to my desk when a colleague :retch: approached me with no caution and blurted forth:

“So I heard your “migraine” made you miss work last week. /snicker/ Next time, try to not go partying on Sunday night or else you’ll have to bring a note that you had a “migraine.””

NB: the speaker was using air quotes whenever he would say ‘migraine’ as though the concept was completely foreign and non-existent. Let’s also put into perspective that this particular idiot spends 90% of his workday walking around the office and socializing, so yeah, not really the person to give me a lecture.

It didn’t help when the information had been passed from the low-level minions of my office to the middle-management drones and up to the Executives. The decision-makers of the company/my bosses were now being bombarded with false information that was painting my moral character and work ethic in a very unfavorable light.

The fascination people have with screwing up others’ lives when they themselves are bored, or apparently don’t have any work to do, is astounding.

Here’s my proposal: WHO GIVES A SHIT. It’s none of your business if I was out frolickin’ with goats on the side of the road or gambling in Vegas with the money I made selling my kidney on the Black Market.

If I do my job and it’s not related to your duties or affecting you, why do you GIVE A FLYING RAT’S ASS. It’s especially problematic when you choose to distribute your opinions as to what I’m doing on my day off to, oh, I don’t know, people who make the hiring-and-firing decisions.

Don’t assume that you are aware of my off-work activities, nor should you get a play-by-play of what I do outside of work.

How about we stop sucking our thumbs, put away our blankies, and act like the grown-ass adults we are?

I’ve been told twice already by friends to ignore the rumor mill and the misinformation it produces, but it’s not the rumors themselves or the originators I’m most miffed by; its the fact that my professional career is bouncing around in the slots of a roulette machine, and no one seems to understand that the House is rigged, the Man will win, and I will be ultimately screwed.

I’ve more than familiar with the catch-phrase “high school never ends,” and while I’ve experienced the growing pains of high school in a post-college environment multiple times, it just sucks to know that the persona I’ve cultivated professionally can easily be slutted up by the likes of the bored and the idiotic. All of the innovative ideas, my hard work in doing my work, and the connections I’ve made in the business world are precariously hanging on the edge of this cliff, about to be pushed into a gaping hole of non-existence.

Let’s learn to be less juvenile, and choose to let rumors lie. Rumors, rumors, may be fun, but rumors, rumors, hurt everyone.

That means grow. the. fuck. up.

-Nita

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